On Rehab, Grief, Dog Farts, and Smiling

I started my day this morning knowing what I was going to write about later. It was a pretty awesome idea. A friend of mine, Brown, asked me to write about what keeps me upbeat through the day, what keeps me smiling. What a great topic! She thought to herself smiling, as she unwittingly stepped into a shit-tornado of a day. It doesn't really matter what happened, in the end. I've been experiencing a lot of nonsense-pain in my body, and the forces of the universe just kept shitting on my head. I was doing well in public, smiling and being cheerful... but by the time I was on the way home, I was screaming at handicapped drivers and ideating about kicking kittens into episodes of Metalocalypse. I got home and laid on my couch for a second, and then my dog jumped up and farted right in my face. I ended up in tears on my floor for about a half hour.

You... little shit.

My friends know this about me: My life just never quits. The past three years have been something to marvel at. Crisis after crisis, and I'm still okay. It really started rolling last year, with a solid five weeks in rehab for alcohol dependence. Looking back, I'm glad I went. My recovery is no joke. I've had some ups and some serious downs since then, but I'm 45 days sober today so it's going well enough. October 2012, Reggie Mullen, a woman I considered to be a mother figure lost her battle to cancer less than two weeks after she went into the hospital for a cough. Then the inside of my head literally imploded, smashing the bones in my face together. I got my own cancer scare, a couple hospitalizations, two surgeries, a couple more hospitalizations. I lost one of my heroes, my Great Uncle Everett, to cancer in April. I helped my grandmother clean the apartment he died alone in after his throat hemorrhaged, blood around the place telling a story of a very lonely, painful death. It hurts my heart to think about. I've been in the emergency room twice since then, and I'm now facing my own medical crisis. And shit, it keeps going. Terrible things keep happening. And things weren't great before all this happened. My life before the Marine Corps has been politely described as hellish and insane.

You know why it never stops? Because it never stops. There will always be a crisis. Something terrible is looming around the corner every single day. It will never, ever stop. Once you realize that, you can choose to become bitter and haunted by the things you victimize yourself with, or you can become the person people look to for comfort in a terrible situation. I believe I think of this a little differently, because my recovery is so important to me. I love people in recovery because they tend to be so giving of themselves, and that's what I try to emulate day to day. A smile can change another person's day. If your smile changes one person's day, and their smile changes another person's... then suddenly you have a domino effect. You have improved the lives of people you don't even know. It's like the sex ed pictures, but with happiness instead of herpes.

(You have no idea how many pictures of herpes I saw before I found this picture.)

The light in another human being's eyes is so magical to me. That's how I stay upbeat throughout my day, Brown! I know that somewhere, someone is enjoying their life a little bit more just because I tried. It makes my heart swell. The Serenity prayer gives me a weird strength on days like today. "God (Bears/spaghetti monster/science) grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". It took me a while to really grasp the power of that, and become the change I wanted to see in other people, but now I couldn't be happier. So even though I haven't been able to eat real food for a week, and my entire day was balls, I still feel good. I feel satisfied with what I went out to accomplish. I made people smile. My dog may have farted in my face, and I may have had a little bit of a nervous breakdown.... But sometimes life farts in your face, and you just have to take it. Let the smell waft over you, let your eyes tear up. Then get back on your feet, laugh it off, and find the Febreeze.  Much love, all. 

~Kayleigh

PS: Tell your friends I write stuff. There's share buttons. It took me like 38 years to figure out how to make them work. 

Why One Heart?

One Heart is an idea I came up with a very long time ago. We have only one heart and one body, sure. So personal health and fitness is something I strive for on a day to day basis. But I'm hoping to achieve so much more with this blog and my other endeavors. I want this to be more than just another fitness blog, or just another DIY page. My name is Kayleigh, and this is what I'm all about.

I'm a twenty-something,sardonic, active duty Marine trying to get on day by day. I don't want this to be about me and my journey with the Marine Corps, but the lifestyle is pervasive and I'm sure it will be a topic of interest to future readers. About a year ago my overall health started to suffer for asymptomatic reasons, which is a fun phrase doctors use when they don't what is actually wrong with you. I was diagnosed with chronic bilateral sinus disease and had facial reconstructive surgery this past March, 2013. Around the same time, my doctors found that I had early symptoms of cervical cancer as well as other assorted cysts throughout my system. I had those all successfully surgically removed April of this year. During this, and in the aftermath, I was hospitalized four times and treated for kidney infection when the trauma teams could only find that my white blood cells were extremely overactive.

What this all means is that I'm facing autoimmune disaster, and also a very very important choice: What now? I love being a Marine, and I believe in the power of inspiration, motivation, and nutrition. I believe that anything can be treated and managed with the right diet and determination. I also believe that I can't do this without some doctors behind me, so I'm having a private doctor check everything out when I go home on leave the next time. For now, I'm a bacon lover forced into a torrid affair with vegetables and herbal treatments that reduce joint inflammation and benefit those with autoimmune diseases because I absolutely will not let this run my life. I may or may not stay in the Marine Corps, but god help the person who tries to take that decision away from me. I'm writing this to document my journey through alternative medicine, and hopefully to inspire readers into truly believing that your life is in your hands. Your life is a choice, whether that be a choice to eat garbage and get sick or a choice to get motivated and take your body back. We only get one.

This is what I'm choosing to do. Eat right for me, and rule my life with good choices and good workouts. Hopefully you enjoy the following posts. Follow me on Instagram (oneheartonebody) and keep an ear to the ground for my etsy shop to open. I make my own natural, organic soaps and I will be doing a giveaway once it's all off the ground. My dog and I would love to help you get healthy too.

If I leave you with one thing today, I want it to be this: Every day we wake up and decide whether to make it until closing time, or to slowly transform ourselves into the person we would want to meet. We decide to be great. Go out and do great things, don't forget that you have dreams, and try to inspire someone close to you today. Much love,

~Kayleigh